Pokémon: The Seth Rogen edition
by I am SuperWhoLock
Summary: Note: Seth Rogen actually does NOT appear in this story.
"Oh, fuck yeah" said Pikachu as he introduced his small mouse dick inside a wet watermelon. "That feels good. Feels fucking good, motherfucker."

It was a very fucking hot day. Nobody wanted to do anything. Not even Ash (that lazy motherfucker) wanted to move his fucking ass of the couch to capture some fucking Pokémon or to grab the titties of his almost-girlfriend Serena.

"No way, fuck that shit…" Ash said while scratching his wet balls. "I don't give a fuck if Serena has the nicest tits of all the fucking Poke-world, I'm not moving from this couch for the next hour. Maybe tomorrow. Yeah. Tomorrow I will grab those sweet tits. But not today. Today is too fuuucking hot, DAMN!"

"Yo, Ash, brotha…" Pikachu said while rubbing his tiny mouse dick inside the wet watermelon. "You should try this, motherfucker. This is the best way to deal with heat, by putting your dick inside a wet watermelon. It's so fucking refreshing man. Like the cunt of a fucking goddess, man. Yeah, this is like the wet cunt of Aphrodite, Freya or any of those bitches. So fucking sweet, man…"

"No way, asshole. No fucking way. I'm not putting my dick inside a fruit, dipshit. No fucking way. I respect myself too much to do that…"

"Yeah, sure man…" Pikachu replied, with a mocking expression on his yellow friend. "Like that time you covered your dick and balls with chocolate syrup and you ordered one of your Tauros to lick all that shit…"

"Hey shithead… Get off your high horse. You are nobody to judge…Like, remember that time we got lost in some fucking cold mountain and we thought we were going to die and then you told me you did not want to die a virgin, and then you started to rub your face in my crotch while you cried like a little bitch: ' _Make me feel good!_ _Make me feel good, Aaaash!_ '

"Fuck you, asswipe!" exclaimed an angered Pikachu. "You manipulated me, dickhead. You were all like ' _Oh fuck, we are now lost in this fucking cold-mountain and we are going to fucking die here alone, frozen and unloved_ '… And then you started crying. Fucking dickhead, I can't believe I hugged you, miserable piece of shit… I just can't believe it, man…"

"You did more than hugging me, prick…You did far more than that…"

"Yeah, yeah and we agreed to not talk about that anymore…You better not talk about motherfucker, because if someone else learns about we did that night, you will be the one facing charges for bestiality…"

"I already know that, dipshit. I just reminded you of that because you were all like ' _Eeewwww, Ash, you are a fucking sick fuck for making one of your Pokémons to lick your dick and balls,_ _that's so fucking gross, sick and wrong'_ like some offended teenager from Twitter. Fuck you man, get off your high horse…"

"Dude, you were the one who started this shitty ' _I am so disgusted_ ' game on the first place…And all because I made the mostly harmless suggestion that putting your dick inside a fresh watermelon was perhaps a neat, viable way to deal with heat, but then you went all fucking judgmental asshole with your pretentious ' _Oh, I respect myself too much to do put my dick inside a watermelon, unlike my idiotic pothead friend Pikachu'_ …"

"Don't put words in my mouth, cocksucker. Don't do that. I never called you an idiot or a stonehead. You are just being a bitchy drama queen right now…"

"Hey man…What I am trying to say is that you just don't respect me or any of my ideas. You don't respect me, man. You think everything that comes from my mouth is nothing more than shit…"

"Oh fuck, don't start with that shit again…"

"I am right or not man?"

"Fuck, I am not in the mood to argue with you right now…Not with this fucking weather. I mean, fuck! I feel like my balls were in a fucking frying pan, right now…"

"Well man, I already suggested you a nice idea to alleviate your dick and balls… It's not my fault if you didn't want to follow my gentle advice…"

"Fuck you! Do you seriously expect me to put my dick inside a fucking fruit, man? I told you I am not doing that shit!"

"I for one, I know that your dick and balls have been in much worse places than a fresh watermelon…"

"Yeah, like your mouth asswipe…"

"Oh man, are you bringing that fucking shit again? Go fuck yourself! You know what? Do as you want. It's not my problem if you want to continue feeling like your balls are being roasted. I just will keep my mouse dick inside the cock heaven this fresh watermelon is…"

Ash remained silent for a couple of minutes. Then after some second thoughts, he put his pants down and said:

"Okay, I will do this shit. Give me some space there…"

"Uh, what? What the fuck are you doing, man?"

"I am following your advice, cunt. I will put my dick and balls inside that fucking watermelon as you suggested me…"

"Yeah, but this is _my_ watermelon, man. Put your dick inside your own fucking watermelon!"

"Stop being a selfish prick, Pikachu! There is enough room inside that watermelon for at least two dicks!"

"Fuck you! This watermelon is my safe space. A safe space for my dick. Your dick is not welcomed here…"

"Your mouse dick is too tiny anyway…Come on, here I come…"

"Oh no. Fuck no. Don't fucking dare to do this to me… I don't want your fucking bent dick inside my fucking watermelon…"

"Too late, fucking disphit. Because my dick is already here…"

"OH, FUCK MAN! I can feel the fucking tip of your bent weenie making contact with the tip of my dick! FUCKING HELL, MAN! I fucking hate you so much right now…"

"It's only gay if you enjoy this too much." said Ash, with a triumphant tone of voice.

"FUCK YOU! I don't want to feel the head of your cock in the head of my cock! I fucking swear I will start urinating here if that is necessary to keep you away from this!"

"Go ahead. If you start urinating, I will start urinating inside this fucking watermelon too and your fucking cock heaven will be ruined forever…"

"Fuck you asswipe. I fucking hate you so much. Fucking cunt…"

"Just admit it, Pikachu. I won this time. We both won…"

"How the fuck I won? HOW THE FUCK YOU COULD SAY I WON WHEN I AM FEELING RIGHT THE TIP OF YOUR BENT DICK TOUCHING THE TIP OF MY DICK, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE? I mean, fucking your dick and licking your ball is a thing, but fuck…I just don't want to feel _this_ …"

"And what exactly do you feel right, now Pikachu? Pleasure?"

"Wipe that fuck smile off your face, you smug fuck. Fucking degenerate…"

"We can be degenerated together, Pikachu. Like the true friend we are…Remember the song we used to sing together…"

"Oh FUCK. As if this day couldn't get any worse…"

"Till the end I will be with you…" Ash started signing, with his raspy manchild voice.

"PLEASE don't sing that song. Any other song, but not THAT one…"

"We will go where our dreams come true…All the times that we have been through…"

"Fuck you. Just fuck you, you fucking asshole…"

" _You will always be my best friends_..."

"I fucking hate you so much."


End file.
